So. Day 52. One month and 22 days. SOBER. But next weekend brings trouble. I would have thought last weekend would be trouble. Memorial Day party. LITERALLY, EVERY SINGLE ADULT WAS PLASTERED. Did I act this stupid when I was drinking? Probably. Seriously?!?! Let’s be honest. I did. I’m no different or better. Just that these days… I don’t touch a drop, but I also don’t judge if anyone else does.
It’s weird to me that nobody seemed to like the idea that I don’t drink anymore. I learned that I am a fairly fun person when I’m drunk. Huh. Who knew? I certainly didn’t because I was never sober long enough to remember conversations or situations.
So to get through the “YOU ARE NOT DRINKING!?!? WTH!?!? IS THE WORLD ENDING???” comments, I played the designated driver card. And thankfully, I really was one. Drove home a couple of falling down drunk girls. I would be afraid of what happened to them if I hadn’t of coerced them to get in the car with me. Would they have driven? I’m not sure what they would have done, but the old me would have. Gone home with some random guy? Meh. Not my style, but who knows what you would do when you’re blackout drunk like I used to be and like they were Saturday night.
They had this one guy trying to take them home. He was falling down drunk too AND married. Married and trying to take a couple of single girls home. Hugging and kissing all over them and me for that matter. Ugh. I had respect for this guy before. Not so much now. Maybe he’s not like that when he’s sober. Who knows? I don’t and I don’t care. Just glad these two girls were safe and sound when I left them. They both texted me the next day. Hangovers. I certainly don’t miss that. Poor things.
Anyway. Back to the reason why I’m writing this out. I’m concerned about my first vacation sober. I want to do this. Desperately want to, but what if I can’t? Does that mean it’s over? I go right back to being the drunk asshole I was before? I don’t like that person. I think she needs to stay at home. She doesn’t get to go on vacation. I will take sober Ray. She deserves a vacation. A sober one. Yes, it’s the third person. Why? Because I still dislike my English teacher.
P.S. If you have read my rantings, I really did stop taking the antidepressants for good. They do make me a freaking paranoid lunatic. I’m leading a way better life without them.